干爹,父亲节里最轻松的爹

王五四   2018-06-17

我的朋友李承鹏曾经写过一篇文章,《父亲是世上最不堪的斗士》,刚当上爹的他在文中写道:“我小心翼翼隐藏自己不堪的奋斗,努力挣钱,每天把胡须刮得干干净净,穿着整洁的衣服,让儿子觉得父亲其实潇洒和浪漫,不甘人后,不输于人,成竹在胸。我不要儿子看出我的不堪。我已是父亲。”

女儿出生后,对此我深有同感。有人问我当爹以后有什么变化,其实变化很简单很深刻,就是人变得简单了,没有以前那么多不确定的目标和梦想了,唯一想的就是如何给她安排好以后的路,其实也不能叫安排吧,顶多是铺路,这条路既包括眼前的尿不湿,也包括以后的生存环境,这大概是作为父亲唯一的生存意义了。

记得在我女儿刚出生的那年的父亲节,北京市很多父亲被校园毒跑道事件困扰:“北京市第二实验小学白云路分校爆发涉毒塑胶跑道事件,多名在校生出现不同程度的中毒症状。与此同时,北京市西城区展览路第一小学也出现了同样的问题,很多在校生出现了流鼻血、过敏、呕吐、肚子痛等症状。”凤凰网采访了北京一位中毒学生的父亲,从收入上来讲他算是中产,他说他争取北京户口、努力赚钱、走关系、从一百多平的新房搬到40平米的破旧学区房,都是为了女儿能上一个好的小学,但出了这事以后,他降低了对女儿的要求,他只希望女儿平安健康就好,而他“感觉自己失去了奋斗的意义”。

很多父亲母亲努力奋斗都是为了让自己的孩子上一个好的学校,接触到社会顶部的各方资源,使孩子能够赢在起跑线上,但没想到反而让自己的孩子差点死在起跑线上。“失去了奋斗的意义”,我觉得是对这个社会很恰当的描述,有一大批人,他们看到也意识到了社会的现状,但他们认为可以不关心任何事,只是通过自己的努力向上爬,一旦成功就可以改变自身所处的现状降低遭遇风险的机率,这真的是有点幼稚了,这个社会早就开启了人人不能得以幸免的模式,在这一点上,我们做到了也享受到了人人平等。

我想起了坐牢的结石宝宝父亲赵连海。2008年9月初,甘肃省报道多例结石患儿,结石宝宝问题浮出水面。后来根据卫生部公布的数字和温JB接受网友提问时的回答,有3000万儿童受害,其中确诊结石的患儿近30万。这其中有一个结石患儿的父亲,名字叫赵连海,2008年9月20日,赵连海之子(三岁零八个月),确诊左肾结石。随后,作为父亲的赵连海开始为儿子维权。

2008年12月27日,22家责任企业表示,愿意对近30万名确诊患儿给予一次性现金赔偿。这是政府部门和责任企业协商的结果,赔偿方案主要内容是:死亡的患儿每个家庭赔偿20万元,动过手术的重症患儿赔偿3万元,普通的结石患儿每个家庭2000元。整个赔偿方案制定没有患儿家长参与。2009年元旦,赵连海和其它家长认为,这个一次性赔付方案不是建立在平等自愿协商基础上的,遂提出了申诉书。

2009年11月13日晚,赵连海被大兴公安局从家中带走。2010年3月30日上午,赵连海涉嫌寻衅滋事一案在大兴法院开庭。2010年11月10日被北京市大兴法院以寻衅滋事罪一审判处有期徒刑两年半。 赵连海听到宣判后,非常激动,脱掉囚衣,不让法警铐他,拒绝被带走。法官要求赵连海认罪,可以从轻。父亲赵连海拒绝。

以上关于父亲赵连海的文字源于网络报道,很难说赵连海是不是称职的父亲,不过如果换做我,我也只有这一条路可走。听过太多的人说自己多么爱孩子,但是很多人的爱是令人费解的,要么是他们不知道什么叫爱,要么是太无力去践行,我不愿过多指责,因为父爱是很沉重的。父亲节里,最轻松的大概就是干爹了。父亲的爱如大山,大山的重任在父亲肩头,干爹的爱如流水,花钱如流水就够了。干爹,是父亲节里最轻松的爹;亲爹,是父亲节里最沉重的爹。

作为一名父亲,我为女儿设计了很多种未来,每一种未来我都参与其中,甚至有一度我觉得自己很称职,后来才慢慢发现,其实如果女儿遇到任何一种社会问题,我都会很无力,例子就不举了,为人父的路上你们都会遇到。我一度以为出生长大在农村的我,跟自己的父亲之间是不太会有交流的,特别是情感交流,我不会主动表现,父亲也不会主动表现,直到我在老家的抽屉里发现了一张入党申请书,他替我写的,这是他认为的爱自己儿子最好的方式,我能理解,甚至有些感动,这就足够了,至于其他的,什么都不说了,父亲节快乐,普天之下的父亲。

《干爹,父亲节里最轻松的爹》

《干爹,父亲节里最轻松的爹》《干爹,父亲节里最轻松的爹》《干爹,父亲节里最轻松的爹》

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